Money

Money, get away

I hate money. I hate talking about it, dealing with it, being responsible to it. I don't like to have to think about money in my life. I don't like what things feel like when I owe someone money, or they owe me money. I don't like the ugliness that enters a relationship when money becomes an issue.

Marriages end over money more than anything else. My father has a marriage ending right now, and while he didn't say it particularly, I can tell it's over money. He talks about being in debt up to their ears, over extended... this was in a conversation where he sent me a check for $300 from his tax refund, "because I thought you needed it more." And I did, I really really did need it more and I hate that.

My own marriage may have ended in no small part over money. Who works, why, how much? What amount is needed to live on, and who is responsible for making sure that amount gets met? What happens if it doesn't? What happens if the person who should, just can't?

There aren't any other options, someone just has to.

Money, get back

I need to get a job this summer. I don't want a job, I just want to be with my kids, hang out, do art, and generally decompress. I want to be in denial about my financial situation, and simply can't anymore. The wolves are at the door, the howling masses of debt banging from the outside, demanding to be acknowledged. When I was in school, I could pretend they didn't exist. Now, they must be heard.

Money, it's a crime

Without money, nothing works right. I won't have a place to live, won't have a car to drive, won't have the freedom to do what I want to do, when I have the time left to do it after I spend the rest of my time making money.

Money sucks.