Dear 15B

To the girl who took the locker I usually utilize while at the gym,

My day was a bit off kilter. No apparently good reason, although in the shower I realized I'd started my period so that could likely explain my complete inability to swim straight. Speaking of straight. . .

I would like to apologize for that brief burst of annoyance that someone had taken my usual locker, the locker I'd chosen for no particularly good reason other than it was the first that caught my eye and it was a multiple of three. I don't apologize for my irrational petulence, since it's a part of my nature. However, I do regret having any ill feelings towards you in particular.

After my swim, there you were, getting dressed. I would like you to know, officially and publically, that what you have under your clothes just ain't right. The world at large appreciates your efforts to keep yourself in shape, and the lucky person who regularly gets the view I got to see today is a source of my long lasting envy. I'm sure you're a colassal pain in the ass. I'm sure you think your ass is fat and fret compulsively over whether you have been good enough to deserve a half a brownie. I don't really care about all that, since I only got a brief glimpse of your glory and thus only have to pay a small price in assuaging your neurosis.

To that end, let it be known... if you ever thought gays and bisexuals shouldn't be allowed in locker rooms because they're looking at you, you were right. If you thought other women would be glancing at your form out of the corner of their eye with envy and covetous desire, you were indeed correct. If you were the one who spoke up and said "yes, I *do* think that in the brief time we are naked together in a locker room a person can have filthy and lewd fantasies about what they would do with my body, some rope and a deserted alley." Well, you were right about that as well.

I hope you abuse that body regularly, 15B. I hope you run hellbent for leather over any man (or woman) who dares to think they can contain you. You should be public property, you should be rode hard and put up wet, and you should be fucked, a lot.

I wish only the best for you. I hope your bush remains always so black and curly, your ass somehow makes the word "flanks" sexy, and your breasts never lose their supernatural levitation abilities without a bra. Good luck, and happy hunting.

Sincerely,

The temporary occupant of 13B